


Finding It

by LostCauses (Anteros)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clubbing, M/M, OT3, Recreational Drug Use, Side MikeNana, eruri - Freeform, mikeruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 13:29:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/LostCauses
Summary: They’re making their way out of the club when Levi spots Erwin standing by the bar nearest the door.  It’s been over a month since Levi woke up in Mike’s bed late on Saturday morning with Erwin standing over him holding a fresh cup of coffee. Work has been so all encompassing since then that he’s barely had time to think, though when he does, he finds that his thoughts invariably drifted back to Erwin and Mike.  To piercing blue eyes and broad shoulders, strong hands and easy smiles.Sequel toLoosing It.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [guttersharkk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guttersharkk/gifts).



> I started writing this sequel to [Loosing It](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5774920) over a year ago, but it got derailed by [Cardamom](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7362964/chapters/16724194). Anyway, I've finally finished it, so here it is. This is for everyone who enjoyed Loosing It and asked for a sequel. Enjoy!

Levi is dead on his feet by the time they decide to leave the club. Work has been so crazy for the last month that getting to the end of the week feels like a fucking achievement. He’d actually been crashed out on the couch when Isabel and Farlan arrived at his door and the only reason he let them drag him out of the flat is that he didn’t have the energy to argue otherwise. He’s spent most of the night sitting at the back of the club nursing a couple of beers, having refused the offer of some speed from Farlan. Sure it would keep him awake but the last thing he wanted was to spend the whole night wide-awake, jittery and exhausted. When Isabel and Farlan finally come to find him and suggest they head, Levi makes no attempt to hide his relief. 

They’re making their way out of the club when Levi spots Erwin standing by the bar nearest the door. Despite the heat he’s still wearing his jacket; he looks like he’s either just arrived or is just leaving. It’s been over a month since Levi woke up in Mike’s bed late on Saturday morning with Erwin standing over him holding a fresh cup of coffee. Work has been so all encompassing since then that he’s barely had time to think, though when he does, he finds that his thoughts invariably drifted back to Erwin and Mike. To piercing blue eyes and broad shoulders, strong hands and easy smiles.

Levi’s feels a small jolt run through his spine when he notices Erwin but his immediate instinct is to turn away, pretend he hasn’t seen him, and keep making his way to the door. It’s what he usually does when he sees someone looking at him, his first instinct is always to flee, less trouble that way. But Erwin doesn’t give him a chance, he’s staring at him straight through the crowd and there something so naked and penetrating in his gaze that Levi can feel his cheeks starting to burn. There’s no avoiding him now so Levi weaves his way through the crowd towards Erwin, on route to the exit 

“Hello Levi.” 

Erwin smiles, like he’s actually pleased to see him, though there’s a trace of hesitation in his voice.

“Hey,” Levi answers flatly. Erwin’s smile slips a notch. It’s not that he isn’t pleased to see Erwin, far from it, but he’s just so fucking exhausted he can hardly string a sentence together. 

“Hi!” Isabel pipes up from behind Levi’s shoulder, “I’m Isabel, who are you?”

“Hello Isabel, I’m Erwin.” 

“Oh. Oh! Erwin!” Isabel’s eyes go wide and she grins broadly at Levi. Then before he can open his mouth she’s dragging a bemused Farlan towards the door waving over her shoulder.

“Bye bro! Catch you later.”

Levi sighs and rolls his eyes 

“Friends?” Erwin enquires, looking after them.

“Yeah.”

Levi can’t really think of anything else to say and the silence that falls between them stretches awkwardly. 

“How are you?” Erwin asks. 

“Yeah, okay. You?” 

“I’m good.” 

“Mike with you?” 

“No, not tonight.” 

Levi’s mildly curious now. There’s another awkward pause. 

“I didn’t see you earlier.” 

“No,” Erwin answer, “I’ve just arrived.” 

“Bit late aren’t you?” 

“No, I think I’m right on time.” 

Erwin lips curve into that curious smile that Levi remembers so well from last time. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yes. Actually I was hoping to catch you.” 

“Really? Decided to start stalking me or something?” 

“No, just came on the off chance that…”

“Off chance?” Levi interrupts, “is that what I am?”

He doesn’t mean to be snappy but he’s so knackered that the few social graces he ever possessed have fucked off long since.

“I’m sorry that’s not what I meant…”

Erwin doesn’t seem put out by Levi’s shitty mood and even has the good grace to look mortified. 

“So what do you mean?”

“I mean I was hoping to see you again Levi.” 

Levi’s not entirely sure how to take that, but at least Erwin doesn’t mince his words. 

“Look,” he continues, “would you like to come back to the flat? Just for a drink or whatever, no obligations.”

Levi sighs and rubs his eyes. 

“Sorry, I’m a completely fucked, works been…” he ends with a shrug. 

“Coffee then?”

Levi certainly can’t fault Erwin for his determination and he does remember Erwin’s coffee being extremely good. 

“Yeah, okay, just for a bit then. Can’t promise I’ll be much company though.” 

Erwin looks inordinately pleased.

The walk back is rather more awkward than last time. Erwin chats as easily as before but Levi can’t help feeling nervous and distracted, as though he’s on the back foot. There’s something between them now but what, Levi can’t say.

“So where’s Mike tonight?” Levi asks in a feeble effort to add something to the conversation.

“Mike? He’s with Nanaba.” 

Erwin turns his head towards Levi and smiles, and despite his exhaustion, something in Levi’s stomach flips over. 

“Who’s Nanaba?”

“His partner.”

It’s not the answer Levi was expecting and he’s surprised to feel a slight twinge of disappointment. 

“I thought you were his partner?”

“Me? No,” Erwin laughs. “We’re, well I’m not sure what I’d say we are to be honest.” 

“Fuck buddies?” Levi suggests, making no attempt to keep the sarcasm from his voice, though there’s no real intent.

“Please.” Erwin frowns in feigned annoyance. 

“Well it’s better than friends with fucking benefits.” Levi drawls, remembering Erwin’s phrase from last time.

“That, I can’t argue with. Mike and Nanaba have been an item forever,” Erwin continues, answering Levi’s unasked question, “they have an open relationship, I’ve never quite figured out how it works, but it seems to. Nanaba is clearly the one who wears the trousers though, she doesn’t take any shit from anyone.”

“And she doesn’t mind you two fucking about?”

“No,” Erwin laughs, “not in the slightest.”

“Huh.” 

They walk on in silence for a while before Erwin speaks again, more hesitant this time. 

“I tried texting,” Erwin starts, “but I wasn’t sure I had the right number.”

“Yeah,” Levi replies. It was only a matter of time before Erwin asked about the texts and Levi has no good answer. “You did.” 

“Oh.” Erwin smile slips slightly and his posture stiffens. Levi instantly feels awkward and guilty. 

“Sorry, work’s been fucking crazy. I didn’t have a chance to reply.” 

“That’s okay, I understand.” 

Erwin hitches his smile back into place but it’s not quite convincing.

“No, no, I mean it, it’s just work, I was going to reply but then the shit hit the fan and…” 

_and I’m a fucking idiot_ is what Levi wants to say as he tails off.

It’s partially true. Levi had got all of Erwin’s texts; just three - enough so that Levi knew he was serious about getting in touch again, but not so many that it was weird or annoying. In all honesty Levi hadn’t expected to hear from either of them again and Erwin’s first text, a simple _Hi Levi, Erwin here, how are you?_ had blindsided him. He was still dithering about how to respond when he received the second text. _Would you like to meet for coffee sometime?_ He had meant to reply to that one but then work went ape shit, and by the time he got the third _Hi Levi, not sure this is the right number, would be good to see you again. E._ it seemed too late to reply. Levi quietly resigned Erwin and Mike to another missed opportunity, another what might have been. He’d almost managed to convince himself that he’d imagined their easy affection, the genuine pleasure they seemed to take in his company, the way they’d lounged around on Saturday morning drinking coffee and talking shit, the way Mike had been happy to drive him home. And he had almost certainly imagined that something in Erwin’s eyes when he looked at him and smiled. 

But now, seeing Erwin again, feeling his gaze on him, his presence so close, Levi’s not so sure. And the thought that he might have been wrong, that there might actually be something real here, is even more terrifying. 

“Sorry, I know your job must be very demanding it’s selfish of me to presume you’d have time to….” 

Erwin’s voice is lower, softer, and not for the first time, Levi curses himself for a fool.

“Nah, it’s not that, well it is, but…” 

Levi doesn’t really know where he’s going with this, other than wanting to reassure Erwin his pathetic lack of response was nothing personal. Somehow he finds himself telling Erwin about the case that’s been taking up his every waking hour for the past fortnight. The usual sad fucking story; homeless kid, father’s whereabouts unknown, witnessed mother’s violent death, severe anger management issues, already labelled a monster by the authorities who want to lock him up and throw away the key. The shelter is his last option but it’s temporary solution at best. 

Erwin lets Levi talk, listening intently. They’ve already reached the flat when Levi stops talking and begins wondering why he’s telling Erwin all this shit. Levi never talks about work, not to anyone, but there’s something about Erwin that just sort of invites confidence. 

“Have you thought about the military?” Erwin asks, as he unlocks the door of the flat. “It’s not as bad as you might think. It might provide the kid with the kind of stability and routine he needs and it would keep him out of the hands of the authorities at least.” 

“I guess that’s a possibility,” Levi concedes as he follows Erwin into the flat. The hall is reassuringly familiar and Levi can’t help casting a glance towards the door of Mike’s room. 

“So, coffee?” Erwin asks as he shrugs out of his jacket and leads the way into the kitchen. Levi can’t help his eyes straying down from his broad shoulders to the smooth curve of his ass, and like a fool, walks right into the back of him when Erwin stops abruptly in the doorway. 

“Ah.” 

Levi peers past him, hearing the snoring before he sees the person lying asleep on the couch in an untidy tangle of limbs. There’s an open book lying on their chest and a pair of glasses pushed up on their forehead. 

“Friend of yours?” Levi asks.

“Flatmate. That’s Hanji.” Erwin stares into the room for a moment before turning in the doorway. “Probably best if we don’t disturb them. Hanji talks a lot, they’ll demand your entire life story and you’ll still be sitting there at four in the morning listening to their latest theory about god knows what.” Erwin pauses, looking slightly embarrassed, “I guess it’s my room then.” 

Erwin’s room is smaller than Mike’s, there’s a desk and chair in one corner, both piled high with neat piles of books and papers. 

“Sorry about the mess,” Erwin offers apologetically. “I’ll get the coffee, or would you prefer tea?”

“Tea would be good.” 

“Okay, tea. Milk?”

“Just black.” 

“I think I can manage that. Take a seat.” 

Levi takes in the room as Erwin leaves, wondering where he’s supposed to sit; the only chair by the desk is piled high with papers which Levi doesn’t fancy disturbing. That leaves the bed. Levi sits gingerly on the edge wondering if he should take his boots off but deciding against it. It feels too presumptuous, too familiar. Even sitting on the man’s bed feels fucking uncomfortable. He can hear voices drifting through from the kitchen; apparently the flatmate has woken up then. Levi can’t make out what they’re saying but at one point he’s sure he catches Erwin’s voice speaking his own name. A slight shiver runs down his spine as Levi leans back against the headboard and waits.


	2. Chapter 2

There’s a blissful moment of calm contentment when Levi wakes that is almost instantly replaced by disoriented panic. The panic intensifies when he opens his eyes to an unfamiliar room and little recollection of the night before. 

He’s still trying to reorder his senses when the bed shifts beside him and a voice says “morning”.

“Shit! What the fuck?” 

Levi sits bolt upright and finds himself face to face with an anxious looking Erwin, who is sitting up in the bed beside him, reading something on his phone.

“Hey, it’s okay Levi, you fell asleep last night. I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

“Shit,” Levi scrubs at his eyes, “why the fuck didn’t you wake me?”

“I’m sorry, you were out for the count when I came back with the tea.” 

Erwin gestures to the cup of cold black tea beside the bed, as if to back up his story. 

“You looked exhausted, I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.”

There’s something in Erwin’s tone that sounds horribly like concern and Levi feels his gut twist uncomfortably.

“What time is it?” 

His head feels stupidly thick and fuzzy.

“Back of eight.”

“Shit, you’re kidding?” 

Levi rarely sleeps longer than a couple of hours at a time; he can’t remember the last time he slept for six hours straight. It’s little wonder he feels groggy and disoriented.

“Sorry, I was just about to wake you. Do you need to be at work today?” 

There’s concern written all over Erwin’s face, and not for the first time, Levi wonders how anyone can seem so fucking genuine, can be so fucking genuine. 

“No. Shit. I need to get home though.”

Levi scrambles out of the bed, only then registering that he’s fully clothed, apart from his boots, which are sitting neatly by the door. As he stands, Erwin’s fingers brush against his wrist. 

“Wait, Levi. Please.” 

He turns his head to look over his shoulder at Erwin. His hair is still tousled from sleep and he needs a shave, but there’s something in his eyes that Levi is powerless to turn away from. The hard predatory gleam that had first captivated Levi and wound him in like a fish on a hook is entirely absent, replaced with something softer, something unfamiliar, something Levi finds much, much harder to read. 

The shock of waking up in an unfamiliar bed is starting to subside and Levi has a sudden, powerful urge to touch Erwin, to brush aside his hair where it’s fallen forward over his face. Instead he looks down at himself. 

“Shit. I slept in my clothes? That’s fucking disgusting.” 

“I took your boots off. Thought you wouldn’t be very comfortable sleeping in them. You didn’t even stir. I didn’t think it would be polite to go any further though.” 

Erwin smiles. Tentatively? Regretfully? His fingers move against Levi’s wrist, stroking lightly. 

“You can shower here if you like,” Erwin suggests, “I can look out a change of clothes for you.” 

Levi gives him a flat stare. 

“Ah right,” Erwin’s cheeks colour slightly, the faintest tinge of pink, his fingers still on Levi’s wrist. “Hanji might have something that fits, I could…”

“Nah it’s fine,” Levi cuts him off, “I’ll just get going.” 

“Do you have to? I was hoping you’d stay.” 

“I can’t.” 

The words taste bitter in Levi’s mouth. It’s not a lie, he can’t, though it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to.

“At least let me make you some tea before you go?” Erwin persists; his fingers are still curled lightly around Levi’s wrist. “I did promise after all.” 

“You don’t fucking give up do you?” 

“No,” Erwin smiles broadly and he’s already half way out the door before Levi can protest. 

Levi settles back onto the bed and listens to the faint sounds of conversation from the kitchen. The bed is warm and enticing and smells faintly of Erwin. Levi can’t believe he spent the entire night sleeping next to the man. It feels like a waste and a watershed. Levi has never slept the night in another man’s bed. His previous sexual encounters had ranged from perfunctory, to desperate, to downright dangerous. He never stuck around. That was his thing. Always leave before you’re asked to go. Always leave while you still can. Always leave before someone tries to stop you. 

The previous night he’d spent here had been an unexpected exception to his rule, but even then he’d been too wired to sleep. That’s not to say that he hadn’t spent several contented hours lying wedged between Mike and Erwin’s warm heavy bodies after Erwin had convinced him to stay. Seems like he has form in that department. Levi slides down into the bed pulling the quilt back over himself even though he’s still fully clothed. He’s often wondered what it would be like to wake up beside someone who actually wanted him there. Someone who cared whether he stayed or whether he left. 

He can still feel the trace of Erwin’s fingers against his wrist. 

Erwin returns carrying two mugs and sets one down on the bedside table; the clean scent of bergamot blossoming and filling the room.

“It’s Early Grey,” he explains a touch unnecessarily, “Hanji insisted on making it. I’m afraid I’m clueless about tea. They said it’s probably just as well you fell asleep before you could drink the tea I made last night.”

Levi lifts the mug, blows across the surface of the tea and sips, aware of Erwin’s eyes on his face, his lips. It’s good tea, smoky and delicate, brewed to perfection. It appears that this Hanji person knows their tea.

“They said I should serve it in a china cup with a slice of lemon if I really wanted to impress you.” 

“And do you?” Levi holds Erwin’s gaze over the rim of his mug. Erwin smiles in response. 

“Sadly we haven’t got any china tea cups in the house. Or lemon. I’m sorry, we’re terribly uncouth. I guess I’ll just have to think of another way to impress you. Mind if I join you?” 

Erwin gestures towards the bed. 

“It’s your fucking bed.” Levi shrugs. 

Erwin settles onto the far side of the bed leaning back against the wall, one leg tucked up beneath him. He’s wearing grey sweat pants and a faded black t-shirt with what Levi presumes to be some kind of military logo. The worn fabric of his shirt is stretched tight across his chest and Levi experiences another stab of regret that he spent the entire night in Erwin’s bed, out for the fucking count. 

“Jesus I can’t believe I slept here all night.” 

“It’s all right,” Erwin replies seriously, “you didn’t snore.” 

“Of course I didn’t snore. Cheeky fuck.” Levi actually has no idea whether he snores or not, it’s one of the benefits of sleeping alone. “I did say I wouldn’t be much company,” he adds a touch apologetically. 

“That’s okay, it was…nice.”

“Nice? What the hell is nice about crashing out like a fucking piss head?”

“It was nice,” Erwin persists, that faint hint of pink colouring his cheeks again, “just having you here, watching you sleep. You frown when you sleep. Did you know that?” 

Levi can feel heat rising to his own face now. 

“Okay that’s a bit fucking creepy.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Erwin stammers, “I didn’t mean it like that…” 

“Relax, it’s fine, I’m just shitting you.” 

Surprisingly, the idea of Erwin watching him sleep doesn’t creep Levi out in the slightest, quite the opposite. Levi has never had anyone to watch over him, never needed anyone to watch over him, at least that’s what he tells himself, but the idea that someone had, well, it’s kind of fucking nice. 

“Have you got plans?” Erwin asks.

“What for? Today? Tomorrow? Rest of my life?”

“Today, this evening.” 

“Why?” 

“Mike’s playing a set at a club tonight, it’s just a small local place, no big deal, but we thought you might like to come. That’s one of the reasons I came looking for you last night.” 

“One of the reasons? Are there others?”

“I wanted to see you again. I’d like to spend some time with you Levi.”

Erwin hold his gaze, frank, earnest and hopeful, and once again Levi doesn’t know what to do with this, what to do with someone who seems to want him for more than a quick fuck. And god knows he wants to stay, more than anything in the world he wants to stay, but every lesson life has taught him is telling him to walk away now, don’t make the mistake of getting sucked into something that can only end badly. It’s only a matter of time before Erwin realises what a fuck up he is and kicks him out. Levi’s getting too old for that bullshit now. Too old for hope. Better just to walk away and don’t look back. 

But Erwin is looking at him so seriously, with such intent that he is powerless to tear his gaze away, never mind get up and leave. Erwin reaches over and runs the back of his hand down Levi’s forearm, bringing his fingers to rest over his hand. 

“I’ve just spent the whole night with you.” 

Levi’s voice doesn’t sound quite right somehow and his throat feels thick.

“True,” Erwin concedes, “but I’d like to enjoy your company awake as well as asleep, though you’re very welcome to sleep in my bed anytime you like. Especially if you keep frowning.”

Levi frowns involuntarily.

“Yes, exactly like that.” 

Erwin smiles, it’s almost a smirk and Levi rolls his eyes.

“Smart ass. You really don’t take no for an answer do you?” 

“Of course I do,” Erwin’s brows draw together, suddenly serious, and his fingers pull away from Levi’s hand. “If no is your answer then I will absolutely respect that. No question. But I really would like you to stay.”

Levi sighs, the last shreds of his resolve melting under that earnest blue gaze. 

“All right. I’ll meet you later, but I can’t stay now, I need to go home.” 

“Great!” And Levi would be lying if he said his chest didn’t tighten with Erwin’s smile. “I really can’t persuade you to stay though?”

Jesus Christ is there no end to the man’s determination?

Levi shakes his head. 

“I need to go home to feed the cat.” 

“You have a cat?” 

Erwin sounds surprised, amused, though Levi has no idea why. 

“It’s Isabel’s,” he explains, “she’s forever picking up strays, but her lease won’t let her keep pets so she passes them off to suckers like me.” 

“How long have you had it?”

“Can’t remember, four or five years.”

Erwin laughs and Levi can’t help noticing the way his eyes crease. 

“What’s so fucking funny?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just that if you’ve had the cat that long then I’m pretty sure it’s your cat not Isabel’s.”

“What ever,” Levi shrugs, “fucking furball.” 

“So you’ll definitely come and meet us later?” 

“Didn’t I just say I would?” 

“You did, yes, sorry. I’d offer you a lift home but Mike’s taken his car.” 

“It’s fine I’ll walk it’ll waken me up.”

They sit and talk while Levi finishes his tea and all the time he’s silently asking himself why he’s so intent on leaving. It’s not like the cat is going to starve, spoiled creature that she is. He enjoys Erwin’s company, and there’s no denying the man is hot as sin and very much Levi’s type, but there’s also something about Erwin that he can’t quite get a handle on. He finds the man very hard to read and for all his insistence that he wants to see more of Levi, he has made no attempt to come on to him. Shit, he’s barely even touched him, despite the fact he spent all night in his fucking bed. 

The pang of regret that Levi feels as he gets up to leave is so palpable it’s a physical thing. His body wants nothing more than to press Erwin down onto the bed and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow, but at the same time his stupid fucking brain is telling him to get the fuck out of there and don’t look back, otherwise he’ll be in over his head. 

Levi feels sick and disappointed as he pulls on his jacket to leave, the familiar claws of self-loathing scratching in his throat. 

“I’ll see you later then.” 

He won’t. He’s already made his mind up. He’s not that fucking stupid. It’ll only end in more recrimination and regret. 

And that’s when Erwin makes his move. Levi’s already reaching for the door when Erwin’s hand comes down heavy on the back of his neck. 

“Levi.” 

His fingers are loose but there’s no mistaking the command. Levi stills. The hand slips down to his shoulder, turning him around to face Erwin who is gazing down at him with such intensity that Levi takes an involuntary step backwards, shoulders colliding with the door. Erwin lifts his hand to Levi’s face and brushes lightly, gently, over his cheek, tilting his chin up. 

“Promise me you’ll come.”

The kiss is almost chaste. A smooth press of lips, the briefest flicker of tongue, but the heat is so intense that Levi’s breath catches in his throat. Erwin’s hand finds the back of his neck again, fingers tighten this time, causing sparks to trickle down his spine and ignite something deep in his groin. It’s over in seconds, Erwin’s straightening up, releasing him, leaving Levi standing there staring up at him stunned and stupid. Levi nods uncertainly, turns, and leaves.


	3. Chapter 3

The journey home does nothing to clear Levi head. He’s in such a daze that he almost misses his underground stop and he’s still distracted as he climbs the stairs to his flat. It’s fucking stupid, he’s behaving like a love sick kid, not a grown ass man who’s been around the block often enough to know better. 

The cat winds around Levi’s ankles as he enters the flat, yowling at him disapprovingly. 

“Don’t give me that shit,” he grumbles, picking her up to scratch behind her ears. The cat meows in annoyance, twisting from his grip and trotting over to her empty food bowl, glaring at him pointedly. 

“Yeah right, you really look like you’re starving.” 

He goes straight to the kitchen, opens a tin of tuna, empties some into a clean bowl and places it on the floor for the cat. 

“Spoilt fucking furball.” 

Once the cat has been placated, Levi hangs up his jacket, kicks off his boots and collapses onto the couch. He closes his eyes, exhales a long breath and waits for the familiar feeling of relief to flood over him. The relief he feels when he closes the door of his flat and shuts out the rest of the world. The relief that comes from being alone. Living alone is a luxury Levi can barely afford, but it’s one he cannot do without. It costs him every fucking penny he earns to pay the rent on the tiny two room apartment but it’s his and his alone and he knows that at the end of the day, once the door is locked and bolted, no one can reach him, no one can enter his space, no one can touch him. 

Levi waits, but the familiar feeling of calm doesn’t come. The room feels cold and empty and his thoughts keep drifting back to Erwin’s flat, to Erwin’s book strewn room, Erwin’s warm bed, back to Erwin. Levi has worked hard, so fucking hard, to convince himself that he’s better off alone, and for a long time he managed to believe that he’d succeeded. But now, after one night in Erwin’s bed, alone feels horribly, frighteningly, like lonely. There are few things in this world that frighten Levi, but loneliness is one of them. Because loneliness implies that he needs other people and, apart from Isabel and Farlan, other people have only ever caused him pain. Better to be alone, safe, protected from that pain. But for the first time in a long time Levi doesn’t want to be alone, he wants to be with Erwin, and with Mike, he wants their easy camaraderie and ready smiles, he wants their strong grip and steady hands…

“Fuck.” Levi sighs in exasperation. 

The cat stares at him. 

“Oh don’t you fucking start.”

In an attempt to distract himself, Levi pulls out his phone and checks the string of texts from Isabel that he’s been ignoring since the previous night. 

_Nice one bro! He’s hot af ;)_

_Hey big bro, good night? :P_

_cmon spill the beans_

Levi rolls his eyes and texts back.

_fuck off nosey_

Like hell he’s going to tell Isabel shit. What would he tell her anyway? He doesn’t even know what to tell himself. He has no clue what, if anything, is going on and doesn’t know where to even begin to get his head round Erwin Smith. And that’s the thing that pisses him off the most; Levi is good at reading people, really good. Hell, it’s the only reason he survived long enough to get his shit together. But somehow Erwin seems to defy all logic, all expectations, all the hard won lessons life has taught him. He simply cannot believe that someone like Erwin could be that interested in him after a single lay over a month ago and one night spent comatose in his bed. Admittedly it had been a pretty fucking awesome lay, but the point still stood. Erwin seemed to be giving every indication that he actually liked him, and not just to fuck, he seemed to genuinely enjoy spending time with him. But that couldn’t be right surely? People didn’t just saunter into Levi’s life and like him. Even Farlan and Isabel had taken months to warm up to him. Or maybe it was him that had taken months to open up to them?

_Fuck._

Of course it could all be some kind of elaborate act. On one level Levi wouldn’t put it past Erwin to be a manipulative bastard; he’s smart enough and god knows he’s handsome enough. But that’s the thing; Levi has never once got the impression that Erwin was deliberately turning on the charm. Unless that’s all part of the act too?

Everything about Erwin suggests that he is a man who knows how to get what he wants. Of course Levi knows how to get what he wants too, after a fashion, it’s just keeping it that has always been his problem. But what really throws Levi is that it seems that if Erwin wants something, he treats it with the utmost care and consideration. It was there in the way he looked at Levi, like he cared, like he mattered, like he was worth something, and that was what had thrown Levi off balance. The filthy oaths and fond endearments he had poured into Levi’s ear as Mike pounded into his ass and he came all over Erwin’s belly, it actually sounded like he meant them, like he was sincere. Yeah, heat of the moment and all that, but the thing was, he had still sounded sincere when he talked Levi into staying, and he had sounded sincere this morning when he said he wanted to see Levi again. 

_Fuck._

Siting brooding is getting him nowhere and he’s only getting more irritated and antsy by the second.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Berating himself for a fool, Levi pushes himself up off the couch and makes his way through to the shower, stripping off his clothes and dropping them into the laundry basket in passing. 

He turns on the shower, brushes his teeth as he waits for the water to heat up, and then steps inside. The sudden blast of too hot water stinging his skin helps to ground him and for a few blissful minutes he stands motionless under the spray, feeling nothing but the water running over his body. But as the tension ebbs away and he begins to relax, Levi’s thoughts inevitably drift back to Erwin, to the calm contentment of sitting in bed drinking tea, to the tentative touch of fingers on his wrist, to the way Erwin’s eyes lit up when he smiled. 

_Fuck._

Not again. 

In an attempt to distract himself from brooding about Erwin, Levi turns his thoughts to Mike. Mike is much more straightforward. He can’t deny he had been a little disappointed to find that there was another partner somewhere on the scene, but still, it simplifies things, he’s on familiar territory there. If Levi knows one thing, it’s how to be a quick fuck, no strings attached. Though there’s no denying that for a casual fuck, Mike had shown an uncommon degree of affection. Shit the guy was like a huge overgrown puppy dog. Hot as hell too, definitely Levi’s type. Fuck, they both were. Levi has never seen anyone who looks quite so uncannily, perfectly, classically handsome as Erwin. To be honest, he’d never really believed people like that actually existed in real life. Erwin looks like he belongs in the pages of a glossy magazine, not walking around like some kind of normal ass person. 

But it’s not just that, it’s not just Erwin’s good looks, there’s something more than that, something that lurks beneath that immaculate façade, something indecent, something positively sinful. Levi remembers the way Erwin had looked at him in the club, the naked burn of his gaze, the way he stripped Levi with his eyes. But for all that, he had never treated him with anything less than respect and consideration. Fuck sake, he had spent the entire night comatose in the man’s bed and he hadn’t laid a finger on him. The mental image of Erwin carefully removing his boots and tucking the covers over him make him snort with laughter and shake his head, scattering water. Shit. Do guys like that really exist outside the pages of crappy gay romance novels? Not that Levi has ever read any. Not that he’d admit to anyway. 

It’s the intoxicating combination of threat and promise that does it for Levi. His cock twitches between his legs. He’s getting hard just thinking about Erwin’s gaze, the weight of his hand gripping the back of his neck.

“Shit,” he hisses, leaning back against the tile and sliding one hand down over his ass to trace lightly over his entrance, as he grips his cock with the other. He sets up a steady rhythm as he remembers Erwin’s mouth on his body, teeth biting hard against his collar bone, the way he’d teased his nipples with his tongue as Mike pinned his arms above his head and held him there taut and trembling. His hips buck as he slips one finger inside himself and a sharp whine escapes from his lips at the thought of Erwin’s hands spreading him open, Mike’s cock filling him beyond the point of endurance. And the words, the filthy words Erwin had poured into his ear as he gripped their cocks together. Levi comes with a low grunt, gasping under the steady stream of water, knees buckling beneath him. 

He spends the rest of the day cleaning his flat and when that fails to distract him, he goes down to the gym, pushing his body through a punishing regime until his muscles are screaming, lungs fit to burst, but still his thoughts circle back to Erwin and Mike. Back to Erwin, always to Erwin. 

By the time he makes his way back to his flat he’s tired, aching, and angry with himself. 

There’s a simple solution of course. Just don’t go. All he has to do is go home, close the door and he never has to see Erwin fucking Smith again. Problem solved. If he comes looking for him at the club, he can just tell him to fuck off. Hell, he can just stop going to the club. It’s a shit hole these days anyway. It’s not like he’d miss the place. 

By the time he gets back to the flat his mind is made up, and he feels much calmer. He’s not going to meet Erwin tonight, he’s not going to go to Mike’s club, he’s not going to see either of them again and he’s going to stop fucking thinking about them every time he jacks off.

So why is it that an hour later, just after nine o’clock, he’s showered and changed and placed two extra bowls of food down for the cat? 

“Just in case,” he tells her. “You won’t need it, I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back tonight. Promise.”

The cat jumps onto the work surface and buts her head against his shoulder

“Hey you’re not allowed up there,” he chides, “its fucking unhygienic.”

But he lowers his head and allows the cat to rub herself against his cheek. 

“What the fuck am I doing?” he whispers against her soft fur, before picking her up and placing her on the floor. Then he turns around and leaves, locking the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

He’s been waiting outside the underground for less than five minutes when he sees Erwin approaching from the far end of the street. It’s impossible to miss him. It’s not just his height and the blonde hair, though that’s more than enough to catch the eye, and Levi doesn’t fail to notice several heads turning as he passes. There’s something else there as well though, a commanding presence. Levi has never been one to respect arbitrary authority but there’s no denying that there is something about Erwin that commands attention. 

As he gets closer, Levi can see that he’s wearing a dark shirt and black leather jacket; blazer cut, old, worn, looks vintage. It fits his broad shoulders and narrow waist to perfection. Straight cut black jeans and boots. 

Fuck. 

Boots. 

The kind of boots that Levi would get down on the floor and worship. Plain black para boots, a bit worn, a bit scuffed, boots that look like they’ve seen better days and worse. 

“Hello Levi.”

Levi looks up and swallows, throat dry. Erwin smiles.

“Sorry am I late? Have you been waiting long?”

“Umm what?” _Fuck. Get it together Levi._ “No, you’re not late, you’re early, I just got here.”

“Well, I’m sorry you had to wait. Where would you like to eat?” 

“Anywhere,” Levi shrugs, trying for casual, “I’m not fussed.” He’s not sure he’ll be able to eat anything the way his stomach is doing summersaults. 

They settle on Japanese, Erwin has bento, Levi sushi and miso soup.

Conversation with Erwin is easy; the man talks a lot, though he never comes off as arrogant or self centred, which is nothing short of a fucking miracle given the way he looks. He gives Levi time to talk too, asking a few leading questions about his past, but deftly steering the conversation to other topics when he senses Levi getting uncomfortable. 

They talk about Erwin’s studies, he has a service pension that covers his fees, but he has to work to cover his living expenses, mostly temping for law firms. 

“It’s tedious,” he explains, “but it’s a good way to get experience, and I’ve more chance to finding a position with a firm eventually. It’s better than bar work anyway.”

The last place Levi can imagine Erwin is behind a bar. 

Curious, Levi turns the conversation to Erwin’s military service. Erwin answers all his questions politely but evasively and all Levi can glean is that he did something in strategic and tactical survey and reconnaissance. 

“You mean intelligence, counter terrorism, shit like that?” 

There’s a pause, just a little too long. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Levi brushes it off, “I get it, if you told me you’d have to kill me.”

It’s a clumsy attempt to diffuse the tension. 

“That’s the very last thing I’d want to do Levi.” 

Erwin’s smiling, but for the first time he doesn’t quite manage to pull it off, and the way he’s looking at Levi is just a little too serious, a little too, what? Haunted? And that’s when Levi begins to wonder what Erwin _really_ did, what he’s seen, what he’s done, wonders if Erwin has killed, whether he sent other men to die. Fuck he’s getting morbid. It’s sobering though, and it puts all Levi’s concerns and insecurities about his own shitty little life into perspective. 

Something about the way Erwin talks about his unit, suggests it was actually his unit. Damn was he a commander or some shit? Levi knows fuck all about military ranks or units, having grown up to be deeply suspicious of anyone with authority and a uniform, but suddenly Erwin’s seemingly innate ability to command starts to make more sense. 

“So what happened,” Levi asks, “why’d you leave?” 

Erwin sighs and smiles mirthlessly. 

“The Corps was shut down, “rationalised” they called it. Funding cuts. It was all very mundane. I did my best to pull funding from other streams but it was no go. Survey was amalgamated with another unit and that’s when Mike and I decided to cut our losses.” 

“Mike was in your unit too?”

“Yes,” Erwin nods, “he was a squad leader, one of the best. You could trust him with your life. I often did.” 

Well shit. That certainly explained the rapport between the two men.

They finish their meal and split the bill, Levi relieved that Erwin doesn’t make a fuss about going halves. 

The club is just a short walk from the restaurant, tucked below a bar on the corner, the kind of place that used to be a traditional boozer, but now sells craft beers and boutique gin to hipsters and media types. There’s a preponderance of beards and undercuts, even a few man buns, and not the first time Levi curses whatever fickle god of fashion decided that undercuts were hip. He’s worn his hair in an undercut forever and was more than a little pissed off to discover that his previously non-descript hair cut was being sported by every entitled hipster fuck boy from Dalston to Camden Lock. 

“If I ever decide to grow a beard just fucking shoot me,” he snarls under his breath as they shoulder their way through the crowd. 

“Sorry?” Erwin looks down at him puzzled and Levi jerks his head towards the hipsters in the corner. 

“I can just see you with a man bun,” Erwin smirks.

“Fuck off.”

“Cute.”

“Fuck you.”

“Come on, lets get down to the club before you put the kids off their organic wheat beer.”

Levi graces the hipsters with one last withering glare and follows Erwin down the stairs to the club below the bar.

The club is smaller, louder and grittier than Levi expected, walls and ceiling plastered with posters for ancient b-movies and old club nights. The dance floor, lit by a single strobe, is already crowded, an enormous pa in the corner pumping out something bassy and funky. As Levi’s eyes adjust to the light, he spots Mike tucked into a tiny booth behind the pa, cans round his neck, nodding to the beat. He raises his arm and waves as he spots them and Levi lifts his hand self consciously in response. 

There’s a seating area off to the left and a few booths around the dance floor. Erwin steers Levi towards the one nearest the decks, though it already appears occupied with jackets and bags cluttering the seats. 

“That’s just Mike’s stuff,” Erwin explains, shifting things over to make space. “Take a seat. What can I get you to drink?”

“Just a beer, anything.” 

Levi takes a seat and flicks through the flyers littering the table as he waits for Erwin to return. The club seems to host an eclectic array of events, there are flyers for northern soul nights, old skool techno, dub, open mic, even tango.

It doesn’t take Erwin long to return with a couple of bottled beers. He slides into the booth beside Levi, close enough that his thigh presses up against him beneath the table. Something flips over the Levi’s stomach. 

Erwin has barely sat down when the bassy funk melts into something harder and sharper with an incessant beat and a trancey overlay. It’s the kind of track that makes Levi want to dance. Beside him, Erwin starts to laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“It’s just Mike,” Erwin laughs, shaking his head. From behind the decks Mike lifts his bottled water in salute, grinning broadly. Erwin tilts his beer in Mike’s direction in response. 

“What the fuck?”

“Sorry,” Erwin turns his attention back to Levi, flashing him a brilliant smile. “It’s just Mike taking the piss. For some reason he decided that’s my track, so be plays it to wind me up.” 

“No shit. What is it?”

“It’s a remix of Bugatti by Tiga. Mike reckons I look like the kind of guy who should have a sharp car.”

Levi doesn’t give a shit about cars, sharp or otherwise, but there’s no denying the track kinda suits Erwin. 

Mike’s set is an eclectic mix of old school Detroit techno, trance and a few oddities thrown in from left field. He keeps the dance floor jumping, building up the energy to just the right pitch before dropping the beat. It’s a good set. The crowd on the dance floor is mixed in every sense of the word and the atmosphere is chill. 

It’s…all right really. Levi feels markedly less uncomfortable and out of place than he does in most social situations that require sharing space with other human beings. Though he can’t say whether it’s the laid back atmosphere of the club, or the man sitting beside him. The man who has placed his hand lightly on Levi’s leg and is running his thumb over his thigh, causing heat and pressure to pool in Levi’s lap. Levi shifts involuntarily, pressing closer so his hip bumps up against Erwin’s. Erwin smiles at him again, but this time it’s different, this time there’s intent. And fuck, if this was a different kind of club, Levi would get down on his knees right there and then and beg for it. 

But it’s not that kind of club, so instead he says

“Nice boots.” 

“Yeah?” Erwin angles his right ankle where it’s propped up on his knee. 

“Yeah.”

Erwin smiles again, wolfish, a slow steady curve of his lips.

“They’re old now,” he says, helpfully bending his knee up and bringing his foot to rest on the edge of the seat, “it’s been a while since they’ve seen any action.”

Levi’s mouth goes dry and he can’t fucking help himself. He leans forward and rests his chin on Erwin’s knee, one arm snaking under Erwin’s calf so his hand can grip his ankle. The leather is worn, and supple, laced tight. Steel toe caps. Levi wants to rub his cheek against them. He can imagine the smell of the leather, wants to feel the rough scratch of the laces against his cock, the heavy tread of the sole against the inside of his thigh. He’s so lost in his thoughts that he almost jumps out of his skin when he feels Erwin’s hand on his back, sliding up underneath his t-shirt, tracing up the ridge of his spine. Levi shivers and tightens his grip on Erwin’s ankle, arching his back and tilting his hips slightly, angling his body into Erwin’s touch. There’s a sharp exhale behind him and Erwin’s hand moves down his spine, fingers sliding into the back of his jeans. He tugs, twice. 

Levi twists his head around to look back over his shoulder at Erwin. He’s smirking, but his eyes are serious.

“Are you always this responsive?” he asks. 

“Maybe.” 

He isn’t. Not unless it’s forced or faked. He’s always been too guarded, rarely trusts anyone enough to really let himself go. Levi learned to fake with the best of them, but the idea of faking it with Erwin seems laughable; those steady blue eyes can see right through him. Besides, there’s no need to put on a show when a single touch, a single finger running down his spine leaves his mind reeling and his body vibrating like a plucked string. 

Levi can feel his cheeks starting to burn under the weight of Erwin’s gaze so he turns his attention back to the dance floor just in time to see Mike making his way towards them from the decks. 

“Starting without me?” he grins down at them. 

Levi cranes his neck up, fuck, he’d forgotten Mike was so tall. Well, he hadn’t, pretty much every fucker is tall to Levi, but he hadn’t remembered he was that fucking huge. 

“Hey Levi, good to see you again.” 

He lays a large heavy hand on Levi’s shoulder and he can’t help remember those strong finders gripping his ass, sliding inside. Fuck. He needs to get it together.

“You too.” 

His mouth has gone so dry it’s all he can manage. Inside the waist of his jeans, Erwin’s fingers are stroking against the top of his ass and it takes all his concentration not to squirm. 

“So what you think of it?” Mike nods around the club, though he’s clearly referring to his set. 

“Fucking dive. Music’s all right I guess. Was that Psychic TV you played?” 

“Ha!” Mike barks a laugh. “Guilty as charged. Well spotted.”

Levi can’t help feeling slightly smug. 

“What was that last track you played?”

“The very last one? Sugar Daddy by Secret Knowledge.”

“Subtle, Mike, subtle.” Erwin comments dryly from behind Levi’s shoulder. 

Mike sniffs and tilts his head to one side, staring pointedly at where Erwin’s hand is hooked into the back of Levi’s jeans. 

“Like you’re one to talk,” he grins.

Erwin just laughs and it’s all Levi can do not to yelp when he wriggles his fingers before pulling his hand free. 

“Can I get you a drink?” Levi jumps to his feet in an unsubtle attempt to hide his embarrassment. 

“Nah I’m good with this,” Mike replies, holding up his bottle of water. “I’m going to be partaking, care to join me?” 

Levi frowns, glances at Erwin then back to Mike.

“What you got?”

“E, should be good, none of that speedy shit.”

Levi’s already getting a good buzz from the music and the atmosphere, and, if he’s honest, the hot blond who’s been stroking his ass for the last ten minutes. He doesn’t want to risk killing it stone dead with shit chemicals, but still, it’s tempting. 

He glances at Erwin again who just shrugs his shoulders. 

“No use looking at him,” Mike says, “Erwin’s far to straight to do shit.” 

“You’re accusing me of being straight Mike? I’m offended.” Erwin deadpans.

Mike just rolls his eyes. 

Levi can’t decide. He glances down at Erwin again, worrying his lip. It’s not that he’s asking permission, fuck that, its more that he doesn’t want Erwin to be left out.

“Feel free,” Erwin replies to the unasked question. 

“Okay,” Levi nods, sitting down again, “just a half.” 

“Good man. Shove over.” 

Levi has to shunt right up against Erwin to allow Mike to squeeze into the booth, not that he’s complaining mind, especially not when Erwin slides his arm around his waist, hooking his thumb into his jeans again. He’s practically sitting in the palm of Erwin’s hand now. It’s the kind of possessive, proprietorial move that would usually have Levi running or fighting, but with Erwin, all he wants to do is grind his ass down into the man’s palm and tilt his head back against his shoulder. 

Mike turns his back on them for a moment to retrieve his stash from his pocket and swallows his tab in a gesture so swift and innocuous that Levi can tell he’s done this a million times before. 

He nods, satisfied, and turns back to them. 

“Okay?” he asks. 

Levi nods. 

He’s expecting Mike to pass the tab discretely to his hand so he freezes momentarily when he leans over and kisses him roughly. It only takes him a moment to realise what he’s doing though, and he can’t help smiling against Mike’s lips as he opens his mouth and allows him to slip the tab into his mouth. Levi swallows hard and leans into the kiss, chasing the bitter taste on Mike’s tongue and groaning softly as he feels Erwin’s fingers tighten around his hip. 

Mike’s grinning broadly, when he pulls back. 

“Nice.”

Then he’s up and moving. 

“I’ve got to go collect up my gear. Back in a minute. Don’t let him go anywhere Erwin.” 

“As if I could stop him.” Erwin gestures innocently with his free hand, as he slides his other hand down under Levi’s ass and tightens his grip.

“Asshole,” Levi mutters under his breath. 

It doesn’t take long for the drug to take effect. The first part’s the worst. He can feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat as his stomach clenches. For a minute he thinks he’s going to throw up. It’s shit, it always gets him like this. It’s one of the things he hates about chemicals.

“All right Levi?” Erwin asks, brows creasing together in concern “you’re white as a sheet.”

Levi smiles tightly, and nods, not trusting himself to speak. 

“Here,” Erwin uncaps a bottle of water and presses it into his hand, while rubbing circles in his back. “Drink.” 

Levi sips at the water until the nausea passes. 

“Better?” Erwin asks when he replaces the bottle on the table. “Thought I was going to lose you for a minute there and then what would I tell Mike?” 

Levi snorts and rolls his eyes. 

“Are you always this full of shit?”

“No, I guess you just bring out the worst in me.”

And there’s that predatory gleam again, like shards of ice in the clear blue of Erwin’s eyes. 

Levi swallows, licking his lips, suddenly jittery as he starts to come up. He can feel the hairs prickling up his arms, the rush sending blood to his head and shivers down his spine. He rolls his shoulders into the sensation, flexing his neck from side to side. He can feel Erwin’s eyes on throat and he can’t help grinning when he slides his hand up his spine to grip the back of his neck, fingers massaging into the tight muscle. 

“Feel good?”

“Uh huh.” 

And Erwin’s voice feels as good as the strong hand gripping his neck, the broad planes of his chest against Levi’s shoulder, the warm length of his thigh pressing against his leg, the music washing over him in waves. 

Levi sucks in a deep breath and blinks. Fuck. He’s really coming up now, and if the growing feeling of euphoria is anything to go by, Mike was right. It’s good shit. 

He turns to say something to Erwin but all he can do is grin stupidly. 

Erwin doesn’t seem to mind, he just gazes at him, smiling. 

“Your eyes are blown.” He says and then he leans in, breath hot and fresh against Levi’s ear. “You look like that when you come. It’s beautiful.” He pauses and Levi doesn’t even attempt to supresses the shiver that races up his spine. “I want to see you come again.” 

Levi feels like he’s melting when their lips meet and Erwin’s grip tightens on his neck. And he doesn’t know what do with his hands, he wants to touch Erwin everywhere, wants to feel the warmth of his skin, the solid muscle under his hands. He tugs at Erwin’s shirt, greedy and desperate but Erwin breaks the kiss and catches his wrists, pulling his hands away. 

“Slow down Levi, plenty of time for that later.” 

Levi takes a deep breath, nods and grins. Fuck. He wants it. He wants all of it. He wants Erwin and he wants Mike. He wants the music and he wants to dance. More than anything right now, he wants to dance. The beat is getting under his skin making him squirm and fidget. 

“Need to move?” Erwin asks, running one hand down his back. 

“Yeah...”

Levi wriggles into Erwin’s touch, pressing back against his hand, desperate for that connection. 

“Go ahead,” Erwin gives him a small shove. 

“You coming?”

“Me? No,” Erwin shakes his head, and there’s that smile again, “I’m just going to enjoy the show.”

Levi blinks, and swallows, mouth dry. Normally he hates people watching him, but right here, right now, for this man, he would strip away all his inhibitions. 

“I think someone else is looking for you.” 

Levi tears his eyes away from Erwin and turns around to see Mike cutting a swathe through the crowd. He’s grinning broadly, hair already plastered to his forehead from the heat of the packed club, even though he hasn’t started dancing yet. 

“Levi! Come on. Come on man.” 

He grabs Levi’s hand and drags him out of the booth. Levi hesitates for a moment. Torn between Erwin, the warmth of his hands, his lips, the heat of his gaze; and Mike and the incessant pull of the beat. 

“Go on,” Erwin shoos him away, “go and dance, I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Levi doesn’t need to be told twice. 

The dance floor’s packed now, heaving with sweating bodies. Mike weaves through the crowd, pulling Levi behind him, heading in towards the centre of the floor. The music’s a bit harder, a bit faster than Mike’s easy, funky grooves, but there’s still something nicely trancey about it and the DJ’s keeping the energy flowing. 

Mike pulls Levi in, turning him around, letting his hands settle on his hips, warm and heavy. He’s smiling down at Levi, sweat darkened hair falling forward into this face, eyes blown, dark and shining under the strobe. Then he’s moving, loose limbed and graceful, easing into the beat, and Levi goes with him, falling into his rhythm, moving under his hands. Levi can’t take his eyes off him, off the broad sweep of his shoulders, the way this shirt clings to his chest as he moves, the long smooth curve of his throat as he tilts his head up into the lights. He’s zoned out and tuned in and all the time he’s holding onto Levi; grounding him, connecting him, to the music and the beat and the people all around them. 

Levi can feel the euphoria rising now, spreading through him, connecting him to the seething mass of bodies dancing around him. People who are no longer an irritation, or a challenge or a threat; people who are benign and beautiful, because they’re all just as broken and trashed and fucked up as he is. But it doesn’t matter, none of it matters anymore, because everything is in its place and for once he’s part of it, right at the heart of it, moving in the open circle of Mike’s arms. And although he can’t see him, he knows that Erwin’s there too, beyond the crowd, waiting for him. 

And fuck he’s missed this, he’s craved this more than he could ever admit; this connection, this affection, this sense of belonging. 

Levi loses track of time on the dance floor, it could be hours, it could be minutes, but by the time Mike is steering him back through the crowd towards the edge of the dance floor he’s drenched, sweat running down his back, dripping from his hair into his face, making his eyes sting. Normally he’d be disgusted, but right now, he doesn’t care, he just shakes his head, sending droplets flying in all directions. When he looks up he finds Erwin staring at him with that dark predatory gleam in his eyes, 

“Hey Erwin.” Mike drapes his arm over Erwin’s shoulders and slouches into him. “You’re missing out man, you should come and dance.”

“You’re like a wet dog Mike.” 

Erwin shoves the bigger man but he’s smiling and makes no real attempt to extricate himself from his embrace. He uncaps a bottle of water and passes it to Levi. 

“Here, you look hot.”

“No shit Sherlock.” Levi grins and takes the bottle, tipping half down his throat and the rest over his head. He can feel Erwin’s eyes following the trails of water running down over his torso.

He licks his lips. 

“Smart mouth too.”

“Yeah. Want me to show you how smart?” 

Levi can’t quite believe those words just came out of his mouth, but he’s fucked if he’s taking them back now. 

“Did that sound like an invitation to you Erwin?” Mike asks. 

Erwin just smiles.


	5. Chapter 5

Levi barely remembers leaving the club, but they’re no sooner out the door than Mike’s hailing a cab and bundling them into the back. Levi finds himself wedged into the back seat between the two bigger men, bodies pressed up against every inch of him. Mike’s hand is on his thigh, Erwin’s arm slung over the backrest behind his head. He has to stifle a groan when Erwin’s booted foot hooks around behind his ankle and drags his legs apart as far as is possible in the confined space. Mike’s hand is shifting higher, strong fingers squeezing the inside of his thigh hard enough to bruise. 

Jesus fuck. If they don’t get thrown out of this cab it’ll be a fucking miracle. Mercifully, it’s a short ride to the flat and the driver pointedly ignores the borderline porn show in the back seat.

“Come on, we’re here.” 

Thank Christ. Levi’s already half hard and shivering in his sweat damp clothes. 

Mike drags him out of the cab, leaving Erwin to pay and hauls him up the stairs without letting go of his hand. It make Levi feel like a kid being dragged around by the hand but the thought just makes him smile and he feels an enormous wave of affection for the huge guy towering over him, grinning like an idiot and fumbling for his keys with one hand. 

They’re still on the doorstep when Erwin strides up the stairs behind them and lets them into the flat. 

“Hanji?” he calls as they enter. No answer. “Out. Good.” 

There’s no preliminaries this time, no pretence. Mike hauls him straight into the bedroom and Levi’s pulling off his jacket and t-shirt before he’s even through the door. Mike follows suit, dragging his shirt over his head and tossing it into the corner. Then he’s ducking down and pulling Levi in for a hot messy kiss that’s all tongue and teeth and his moustache is scratching Levi’s nose, but he doesn’t give a flying fuck, because at last there’s skin on skin. Levi arches up onto his toes and throws his arms around Mike’s neck desperate to reach every inch of the bigger man. Mike takes the hint and wraps his arms around Levi, lifting him easily. Now Mike isn’t the first to attempt to lift Levi off his feet, it’s a mistake a lot of bigger guys have made, they take one look at his size and think they can toss him around like a fucking twink. All of them have learned the hard way, that it’s really, really not a good idea, but Mike isn’t just any guy, and for once it feels good, it feels really good to let Mike hoist him up, especially when he slides his hands under Levis ass and digs his fingers in. Levi groans and wraps his legs around Mike’s waist squeezing so hard, that he expels a sudden huff of breath. 

“Fuck Levi,” he laughs, “I need to breathe.” 

“Sorry,” Levi mumbles against Mike’s neck, where he’s kissing his way up the side of his throat towards his ear. He’s so absorbed in the sensation that he startles when he hears another voice behind him. 

“Need a hand Mike? Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”

Mike snorts a laugh, but before Levi has time to react there’s another pair of hands on his shoulders, sliding down over his torso, tracing lingering circles around his nipples that send sparks straight down to his groin. 

Levi groans, leans away from Mike’s neck and his back makes contact with the broad expanse of Erwin’s chest. 

Fuck. 

Somewhere at the back of Levi’s endorphin addled brain there’s a small voice telling him this can’t be real, this can’t be real, this can’t be fucking real. 

“All right there Levi?

Erwin’s breath is hot against his neck and Levi shudders as he leans forward and grazes his collarbone with his teeth. 

And fuck, if that’s not real enough, Erwin’s hands are snaking round his waist, and down between his legs, to palm his cock, and he’s so hard already that it fucking hurts. And of course that’s when Mike shifts his weight, dropping him lower so he can feel the hard bulge of his cock pressing up against his ass. He grinds down and almost overbalances Mike, but Erwin leans in to keep them upright. Then his hands are working at Levi’s belt and the buttons of his fly and it’s all Levi can do to hang on and keep breathing when Erwin’s wraps his hand around his cock, thumb smearing pre cum over the tip. Mike’s mouthing at his throat now, breathing hard, thrusting up against his ass and Levi’s entire body is on fire, alive to every sensation. 

“God Levi,” Erwin breathes against his ear, and the words don’t make any sense, because they’re words like beautiful, and perfect, and want you. Words that don’t belong to Levi, but Erwin’s repeating them like a prayer, like he believes them, like Levi deserves them. 

And fuck he’s going to come. 

“Shit,” he gasps, head falling back against Erwin’s shoulder, “shit, I’m…” 

And Erwin’s hand slows and stops.

“Not yet, hold on Levi, can you hold on for us?”

Levi, nods, chest heaving, trying to catch his breath. 

“Think you can show us what that smart mouth of yours can do then?” Mike asks.

He exhales a long breath, swallows and nods again. 

Levi’s legs almost give out when Mike lowers him to the floor, but Erwin catches him before he can land in an undignified heap. Then he pulls him back towards the bed and sits down behind him, sliding his pants over his hips before lowering him into his lap. Levi inhales sharply as the rough fabric of Erwin’s jeans rubs against the sensitive underside of his balls. He kicks off his boots and Erwin helps him struggle out of his jeans and boxers. 

Erwin hums appreciatively, running his hands down over his thighs as Levi twists his head around to catch Erwin’s mouth in an impatient greedy kiss. The angle is awkward but there’s something about sitting naked in Erwin’s lap like this that feels really fucking good. It’s just… 

“Clothes Erwin.” 

He twists around in Erwin’s lap and starts working at the buttons of Erwin’s shirt, Erwin just leans back on his hands and watches him with dark eyes. Levi pushes the shirt down over Erwin’s shoulders and pauses, frowning. Shit, he’d forgotten just how fucking perfect he is. 

“Something wrong?” Erwin asks, all innocence, head tilted to one side, hair falling forward into his face. 

“Fucker.” Levi snorts, but he can’t help leaning in to rub his cheek over Erwin’s chest, dragging his tongue through the soft dusting of golden hair. Erwin groans and Levi can feel the vibration of it against his mouth. 

On the other side of the room Mike is rummaging in a drawer for something. His combats are riding low on his hips and when Levi turns around he catches a glimpse of Mike’s ass. Commando then. It’s enough to make him shiver in anticipation. 

“See something you like?” Erwin asks over his shoulder, Levi can hear the heat in his voice and his cock twitches in response. 

Mike turns around and tosses a bottle of lube to Erwin. 

“All yours, my turn to watch the show.” 

He pulls up a chair, across from the bed and sparks up a joint that has magically appeared from somewhere. Levi momentarily wonders what else he has stashed in that drawer, but he doesn’t have time to think because Erwin is stroking his cock again and this time his fingers are sliding down between the cheeks of his ass, sticky and slick with lube. 

Levi shifts in Erwin’s lap supporting himself with his hands on Erwin’s thighs, feet just reaching the floor. He groans softly as Erwin slides one finger easily inside.

“Feel good?” Erwin breathes against his shoulder and Levi can feel his lips curving into a smile. 

“Fuck Erwin,” he groans, “more…”

“You went more?” Erwin’s voice is low this time, laced with threat and promise.

“Please…” he gasps and fuck he’s begging for it. Levi never begs, not for anyone or anything, not until now. Because now all his hard won defences are crumbling, his walls are starting to crack and fall, all the feelings he holds so carefully in check are slowly starting to unravel. Because now, right now all he wants is this. And he wants this more than anything he’s ever wanted and if Erwin told him to get down on his knees and beg for it, he’d fall to the floor and be grateful for it. 

“Breathe, Levi.”

Erwin slides a second finger in, stretching him, filling him, while his free hand toys idly with his dripping cock. Levi barely has time to adjust to the burn before Erwin’s working a third finger inside him and it’s almost too much too soon. Levi whines, and arches, his grip on Erwin’s thighs so tight that his knuckles are turning white. 

“Keep breathing Levi, come on.” Erwin coaxes

Across the room, Mike slouches back in the chair and takes a long draw of the joint. Levi can see his chest expand as he holds in the breath before letting the smoke trickle slowly out through his mouth. His eyes never leave Levi’s cock, which Erwin is stroking lazily as he fucks him on three fingers. And shit it feels good. So fucking good but he still wants more.

“Erwin, Christ, Erwin…”

He twists his head round desperate for more contact. 

“What is it baby, what do you want?” 

But Erwin doesn’t give him a chance to reply before he leans in and kisses him with such intensity that Levi nearly chokes. 

He’s gasping for breath when Erwin breaks the kiss and slips his fingers from his ass and he can’t supress a whine when he hears the snap of leather as Erwin pulls his belt open. Erwin lifts him onto his feet for a moment, one arm wrapped around his waist for support, while he opens his jeans with the other, pushing them down over his thighs. Levi twists around to look at Erwin’s cock standing hard and wet against his taut belly. Fuck, he’s beautiful. 

“Ok?” 

As if he has to ask. 

Erwin turns Levi around so he’s facing Mike again. Mike who’s still leaning back in the chair, smoking, one hand shoved inside his combats, playing with his cock. Levi bites his lip and braces his hands against Erwin’s thighs as he starts to push down. He exhales, focuses on relaxing and sinks down onto Erwin’s cock in one smooth movement. The burn is intense and he has to fight the instinct to struggle to his feet. Erwin groans and curses, tightening his grip on Levi’s hips, holding on like his life depends on it. Levi drops his head and exhales, breathing hard into the burn. 

When he lifts his head again Mike is standing in front of them. 

“C’mere Levi, this’ll help.” 

He takes a long draw of the joint, ducks down to tilt Levi’s chin up and blows the smoke into his mouth. Levi sucks down the smoke, holding it in as long as he can, as Erwin starts to rock his hips. He holds the breath until his lungs start to burn and when he exhales the smoke in a sudden gasp his head spins. Behind him Erwin curses and thrusts up, long and slow. Levi groans and lets his head roll back, mouth falling open. 

“Fuck Levi, you’re something else.”

Mike’s hand finds his face, thumb tracing over his lips, Levi laps at it, trying to suck it in. Mike laughs and pulls his hand away. 

“Want something better?”

Levi licks his lips. It’s the only answer Mike’s getting. 

He tosses the roach into the ashtray by the bed, then pulls the cord of his combats, pushing them down over his hips with one hand as he pulls his cock out with the other. Levis eyes widen. He’d remembered Mike being big, but really? He’s fucking hung. Mike steps closer, widening his stance to drop down to Levi’s level. Levi doesn’t hesitate; he leans forward and licks a broad stripe up the length of Mike’s cock. Mike groans, and his hands find Levi’s shoulders, fingers digging in. He’s too big for Levi to swallow, but fuck if he isn’t going to do his damnedest to try. He needs his hands to support his weight on Erwin’s thighs so he has to let his mouth do all the work. He takes the head of Mike’s cock in his mouth, circling with his tongue, lapping at the slit. Erwin shifts behind him and thrusts up again, the head of his cock bumping against his prostate. Levi groans and Mike’s fingers tighten on his shoulders. He leans forward, supported by Erwin’s grip on his hips and slides his mouth down Mike’s cock, swallowing as far as he can, working his mouth up and down over his length. Erwin matches his rhythm, stroke for stroke. Mike’s hands are tangling in his hair now and his hips are shaking, fighting the urge to thrust which is just as well because he’d fucking choke if he did. It’s relentless, it’s glorious, and it’s too much and not enough and fuck he wants this. Levi sucks greedily at Mike’s cock as Erwin’s thrusts harder, faster. He’s dripping with sweat, sliding against Erwin’s thighs, feet scrabbling on the floor for purchase and finding Erwin’s boots instead. Someone is moaning low and desperate and he has no idea if it’s him or Erwin or Mike. Mike’s hips are shaking, fists tightening in his hair, and “Fuck Levi I’m coming!” Levi reaches forward with one hand grabbing him by the ass to stop him pulling away and swallows hard as Mike comes down his throat. Erwin’s rhythm is breaking up as Mike sinks to his knees in front of them and Levi moans when his huge hand wraps around his cock. It only takes a few strokes before he comes into Mike’s hand, at the same moment that Erwin’s slams into him with a shudder and a cry that pierces Levi through. 

There’s a moment of perfect stillness, punctuated only by their heaving breaths, before Erwin releases his grip on Levi and he slides gracelessly to the floor, coming to rest with his cheek against the steel toe cap of Erwin’s boot. 

He’s not sure who lifts him, it’s all a bit hazy, but when he starts to come too, he’s lying in Mike’s bed. Erwin is on his back beside him, staring straight up at the ceiling with a slightly stunned expression. On the other side, Mike is leaning back against the headboard smoking another joint. 

“Hey Levi,” he smiles down at him as Levi groans and stretches. “You okay?” 

Levi rolls his eyes. 

“Been worse I guess.”

Mike throws his head back and laughs. 

“Yeah, I bet you have. Here,” he passes the joint to Levi, “I gotta go.” 

“You going?” Erwin rolls onto his side and props himself up on one elbow. His hair is a riot and his cheeks are still flushed. 

“Yeah, Nanaba get off shift in an hour or so. Want to be there when my babe gets home.” 

Erwin snorts and shakes his head. 

“You’re still wired as hell Mike.” 

Mike just grins and hops out of bed, seconds later Levi hears the sound of the shower running. 

“What just happened there?” Levi asks. He takes a draw of the joint and passes it to Erwin. 

“Nanaba is Mike’s partner I told you about, she’s a nurse, she’ll be getting off night shift soon.”

“Won’t she be pissed if he turns up off his tits?” 

“Doubt it. Nanaba takes everything in her stride. Nothing fazes her. You should meet her sometime. I think you’d like her. I know she’d like you.” 

Levi is highly sceptical. People rarely like him, especially people whose partner he’s been fucking. 

Mike reappears shortly after, hair dripping, towel slung round his waist. He throws on some fresh clothes and then leans over the bed to take the joint from Erwin, kissing him on the forehead as he does. 

“Hey Levi,” he runs his fingers through his hair and dips down to plant a surprisingly chaste kiss on his lips. “See you again soon, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Levi replies, and for once he actually means it. 

“Catch you later.” 

And then he’s gone, leaving a strangely awkward silence behind him. 

“Sure you’re okay Levi?” Erwin asks cautiously, tracing one finger over his shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah I am” And he is, he’s more than okay. A lot more. 

“Coming down yet?” 

Levi frowns, he’s honestly not sure. The half tab should be wearing off by now and yeah, he’s a little stoned, but that shouldn’t account for the feeling of warmth and serenity that only seems to be growing. He doesn’t even mind that his body is still slick and sticky with sweat, and lube and drying cum. Normally he’d be revolted, itching to scrub every trace of sex from his skin, but no, he just feels weirdly content.

“You’re amazing you know that?” Erwin continues, when he doesn’t answer. 

Levi has to turn his head away. He still doesn’t know what to do with words like that, especially not when Erwin is looking at him with that curious soft expression again. 

He reaches forward and turns Levi back to face him, hand gentle against his cheek. 

“I mean it Levi, and I don’t mean just this,” he gestures vaguely at the bed and by “this” Levi takes it to mean the sex. “It’s just…” he falters, laughs quietly and fuck, he’s actually blushing. 

“Just what?”

“Just you.” 

“What about me?”

“Everything about you. I just want you, all of you.” And he’s smiling, but he’s gazing at him with such intensity that Levi couldn’t tear his eyes away even if he wanted to.

“You’re crazy,” he snips to hide his embarrassment. 

“I don’t think so. But even if I am, I don’t care. Stay with me Levi, please”

Levi opens his mouth to make his excuses, to say he can’t, to say he has to go, but then he stops. Because honestly? He doesn’t want to. Everything he wants is right here. And maybe it’s just the drugs, maybe it’s the sex, maybe it’s Mike, and Erwin who’s lying there gazing at him like the sun shines out his ass. Or maybe it’s that he’s found something he didn’t even know he was looking for, something he didn’t believe existed; a place where he fits, a place where he belongs, just as he is, no pretences. Just him, Levi, with all his rough edges and dark corners, all his defences stripped away. He’s nearly let this slip through his fingers once; he’s fucked if he’ll let that happen again.

Levi turns over onto his side and slides his arm around Erwin’s waist, pulling him closer and settling his head against his chest.

“Yes, Erwin, I’ll stay.”


End file.
